The goal when
you’re writing dialogue is to give a different voice to each character so
everybody talks differently. It doesn’t have to be major, and it can include
mannerisms, like biting a nail of shuffling feet. Hand and body movement, and
facial expressions are all part of dialogue—the constant advice you hear to
“show, don’t tell.” That way you don’t have to use a tag.
You could write:
“I didn’t have nothing to do with taking that book,” she lied. However, it’s
much better if you write: She sat huddled in the chair, head down so she
couldn’t meet his eyes, her voice a whisper. “I didn’t have nothing to do with
taking that book.” You’re not telling; you’re showing she’s lying.
I’m going to use
my Southern novel, Maddie’s Choice,”
for examples of dialogue because it has many characters of all ages and
experience. Maddie is from New York, early thirties, writer of romance novels,
and she has writer’s block. She’s on an Arkansas cattle ranch she’s inherited
half of, to get her mojo back. New Yorkers are brash, smart-mouthed, and they
tell it like it is. (Donald Trump a case in point.) She uses a lot of clichés.
Her arrival at the ranch is greeted with unexplained hostility. She quips, “Not
quite the reception I expected, but it will have to do. Don’t bother to kill
the fatted calf, I’ve had lunch.” Nobody laughs. She finally loses her patience at her hostile
reception, turns to the gorgeous hunk of man, Gideon, who is the owner of the
other half of the ranch, and demands help with her luggage. With a smirk fit to cow a New
York waiter into submission, she says, “Since you seem to be in charge, Macho Man, it’s your
call.”
Pete is the
grizzled, elderly ranch foreman, wise but unsophisticated, Southern to the
core. His opinion of Chardonnay wine that Maddie brought is: “I never did care
much for grapes in a bunch; don’t know why I’d like ‘em in a bottle, but it
gets the job done.” He tells Maddie, “You’re gonna be a hard dog to keep, under
the porch, ain’t ya?”
Gideon is
ex-military with a bad case of PTSD, which has made him avoid getting close to
anyone. He’s well educated and speaks five languages, all Afghan dialect. He’s
lonely and is attracted to Maddie, but she confuses him. I’ve given him a habit
that expresses this. When he’s confused because she talks too fast for him to
keep up, he says, “Well, Hell.”
Maddie’s Choice is
about small-town Southern living and culture. Maddie encounters sweet tea and
Ritz Cracker Pie as well as a motorcycle drug gang. One of the comedy
characters in the book is the sheriff’s wife who dresses like Dale Evans and
ends every sentence with, “So to speak.”
Writing dialogue
is the best part of the book for me. Visit my website at http://joycezeller.com or my Amazon Author’s
page to read more. Each of my novels is a different location with a different dialogue style.
